Family Home for Abandoned Minors: Realities and Prospects

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The Family Home proposes to give children an humble and uninterested love. This doesn't 
mean, however, the lack of punishments or reproaches when needed. The educational course 
must be the same followed by his/her parents. 
In fact, "to love" means to give to someone the capacity to recognize himself as a "Person" and 
this is sometimes achieved:  
- allowing the minor to achieve his goals, though this does not mean offering them on a silver 
plate; 
- supporting the minor in difficulties, but not solving the problems for him; 
- giving the minor all psychological, cognitive and emotional instruments, useful to his self-
determination, but not replacing him. 
We give kids love and gratification, and we expect in return that they use the best of them, we 
try to get all their intellective and emotional potential, recognising their capacity of which they 
are often not aware. 
Everybody must show diligence, collaboration and dedication to the others, just like in a real 
family. 
Otherwise the Family Home would not have reason to exist. 
We must always remember that family is, as primary group, the origin of the future of every 
kids. 
 
A CHILD LEARNS WHAT HE LIVES. 
If he lives in reproaches 
 he will become uncompromising 
If he lives in hostility 
 he will become aggressive 
If he lives in derision, 
 he will become shy 
If he lives in refusal 
 he will become discouraged 
If he lives in serenity 
 he will become more well-balanced 
If he lives in encouragement 
 he will become more enterprising 
If he lives in appreciation 
 he will become more comprehensive 
If he lives in loyalty 
 he will become more fair 
If he lives in clearness 
 8
 he will become more confident 
If he lives in esteem 
 he will become more self-confident 
If he lives in friendship 
 he will truly be 
 
   A FRIEND FOR HIS WORLD 
 
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PART ONE 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
JURIDICAL, SOCIAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL THEORIES OF 
“FAMILY AS A WELCOME COMMUNITY”: PRINCIPAL REQUIREMENTS FOR 
FAMILY HOMES WELCOMING ABANDONED MINORS. 
 
 
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CHAPTER ONE 
 
 
1.1. Family as primary group above all others. 
 
Not all children can afford today a loving and understanding family, completely integrated in 
society. 
Family has become nuclear and each spouse claims his own “RIGHTS”, which are not always 
the best for the rest of the family, but, on the contrary, sometimes create irreparable fractures, 
and children are always the ones who pay for this. 
Due to the deep changes of the concept of family in these last years, which is certainly more 
complicated and articulated then in the past
3
, woman has gained her role in society, a role that 
distinguishes her and makes her just like a man. 
State legislation says in this respect: 
“All citizens have the same social dignity and are equal in front of the law without any 
difference of sex, race …. ect.”
4
 
It is true that we have reached the apogee of this statement but it is also true that in some cases 
we have come to exaggeration. 
In many cases there are people who erroneously abuse these principles identifying woman as 
the one who gets rid of the family and of the maternity role, instead of identifying her as a 
person who contributes to the economic, social and familiar responsibility. 
This definitely cause a lack of balance and leads woman to a deep sense of dissatisfaction. 
We feel the need to revalue the concept of family which is, and has always been, the little cell 
of society. 
The message of hope, and the service of men to witness love, life and joy originates from the 
family. 
In a real family we “should find”: 
- the dignity of human being; 
- the clever equality of people even in their diversification; 
- the spontaneous integration of all in responsibilities, for the good of everyone; 
- perfect justice, as family is a community of life and love; 
- the completeness of human relations for the global growing up of all its members, creating a 
“significant model”. 
The future of the world passes through family, the sole entity able to exert on human beings all 
its deep and decisive influence for an intellectual, moral, social and religious order of our life. 
Therefore the “Family” has many positive aspects as: 
                                                 
3
 Oneroso 1986 
4
 Republic Constitution Art. 3, Comma 1 
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- a more lively conscience of a personal responsibility; 
- a correct diversification and identification of the male/female roles; 
- a stronger attention to inter-personal relations; 
- promotion of woman dignity; 
- responsible procreation; 
- maturity of relationship among families for a mutual material, psychological and spiritual 
support: 
- rediscovery of family as domestic community, where one can find values for the construction 
of a “fair” society. 
New unusual aspects are, however, getting a footing, due to the “globalisation” and the 
generalization of the definition of “Family”  in modern society. We are talking about: 
- wrongful theoretic-practical concept of independence between spouses; 
- serious ambiguity concerning the authority relationship; 
- current difficulties that family experiences in the transmission of values; 
- the mass neurosis that influences the family internally, as its members, captured by material 
goods and consumerism, consider love and respect as part of it changing the “genus familia”. 
All this originates: 
a) the increasing number of divorces; 
b) the curse of abortion; 
c) the more frequent recourse to sterilization; 
d) the beginning of a contraceptive mentality; 
e) the birth of non-married couples who claim their right of “being parents” (probation and/or 
adoption); 
f) some rare cases of homosexual unions that start to claim the right to form a family and to 
raise children (probation and/or adoption). 
The lowest common denominator between the two realities – the “unlawful” and the “lawful” 
one – still remains, in some cases, the non-uniformity of sex of its components. 
Since we cannot obviously find, in the nature of things, paternity and maternity phenomenon in 
homosexual couples referable to them (in a cause and effect relationship), the redoubt 
equalization that may be proven between non-married cohabiting and “lawful” ones (without 
binding the good order of values as emerges from our social context and to which the 
Constitution refers) cannot be recognized in any way to the members of an homosexual couple, 
as opposed to the other two “models”. 
We will not analytically deal with the current and heated argument about the opportunity for a 
single to adopt a minor, but we may, however, start a new argumentation, supporting this 
argument, from the complexity of the present rules on this subject: if the legitimate assumption 
of the recourse to adoption is, as a rule, the pre-existence of a marriage tie and the mutual will 
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of the spouses, it means that the legislator intended one more time to particularly recognize to 
the natural society of the heterosexual couple (and, in addition, to married couple) the 
suitability to nurse, educate, form and fill the gaps of a minor with the necessary love and 
support
5
.  
In other words for our ordinary legislator a family is exclusively, naturally and traditionally 
formed (for its peculiarity of stability, seriousness and affection) by  persons of different sex. 
The legal system seems therefore to have “recognized” only this phenomenon to consecrate its 
natural rights, that does not constitute effects of such qualification, but conform its content, i.e. 
is former and constitutive. 
All other “phenomenon” are considered in a different way and are alien, at least for the time 
being,  to the consideration of our legal system. 
Authorizing the constitution of “atypical couples or families” having the same rights and 
guaranties of the “natural” ones shall mean to deeply distort our social, historical and juridical 
system and to create a “monster” devoid of valid justification
6
. 
Of course there may be the case in which an original married couple with children may be 
transformed into an homosexual couple with children (legitimate child, adopted or natural child 
legitimate or non-legitimate as he they may be) for only one of its components
7
. This 
phenomenon escapes civil rights or at least does not constitute special object of discipline and 
guardianship. 
But the further step, i.e. from the indifference of the law to one complete and specific 
regulation of these situations, shall mean to engrave in a substantial way our regulation. 
Notwithstanding this picture appears strongly demotivating, many young people still feel the 
need to create a real family with proper qualities. 
There is still the desire to discover values that seems to be mined from modern society but are 
still in the heart of many people that recognize their meaning only because they have lived it in 
their own family of origin. 
 
1.2. Family and State. 
 
“The constitution recognizes the rights of Family as a natural society founded on marriage”
8
 
This declaration is intended to recognize to the family the nature of original community, in 
which a man exert his own personality; family proposes to limitate the intervention of State, 
                                                 
5
 F. Prosperi, 1980 
6
 It may be proposed an identification of these different “marriages” only on the base of a different lecture of the 
constitutional guardianship referred to the realization of the human being in every expression of its personality. 
7
 There may be the case in which, for example, the “different one”, after dissolving a preceding marriage, decides to 
keep his tie with his children, even if living with an homosexual. 
8
 Civil Code art. 29 comma 1 Constitution